The Instrumentality of Alec Erwin
[670 words]

Zapiro, Sunday Times, August 20, 2006

Last week Public Enterprises Minister Alec Erwin backtracked from his original assertion that the Koeberg �bolt incident� was sabotage (Erwin's words: the bolt that stopped the Koeberg generator did not get there by accident ... it is serious ... it is sabotage). After extensive investigation it was found to be human error. That�s like a doctor who doesn�t know what the heck�s wrong with you saying �it�s a virus�. I almost wish it was sabotage because hearing that it was �human error�  doesn�t give me great comfort knowing that there are dimwits in Eskom dropping bolts all over the show.

By opening his mouth without having all the facts, Erwin, in this instance, is this week�s joke. The lesson for sales people is obvious � get all the facts before you present your solution and don�t over-promise and under-deliver. This is exactly what Erwin did.

I�m convinced that Erwin�s �saboteur� statements swung the vote in favour of the DA in Cape Town. Even the biggest dronkie in Delft could see him telegraph his punch. There was no subtlety � it was a blatant case of pandering to his masters, the ANC and Eskom. In my opinion, his comments were aimed to put doubt in the minds of the voters about the DA and take the heat off Eskom. �What were you thinking, Alec?� The voters saw right through you � conspiracy is not your forte. Even for you it was a stretch. You�re no John le Carre (actually, you may just be the main character in The Tailor of Panama � remember how badly it went for him). Intrigue and fiction is not your thing. In fact, I�ve always seen you as one of the few honest members in Parliament.

Democratic Alliance

Come on, the only DA (Progressive Party) member with enough balls to pull that kind of operation off was Helen Suzman and the only one with the intellectual capacity to plan something like this is Frederick van Zyl Slabbert. And they both left the fold long ago. Can you honestly see Tony Leon as the super Mossad agent and Helen Zille as Mata Hari?

I always know when a politician is trying to cover up something (and no, it�s not when he opens his mouth). � it�s when he uses complicated words to muddy the waters. Once again, even the dronkie from Delft is not stupid. A radio journalist reported that you used the word �instrumentality�. What the heck does �instrumentality� mean? I went to the Oxford to see if such a word even existed. It does. Even you must have blushed when you read your speech and came across it. I hope you�ve given your Grade 8 speechwriter a serious talking too and sent him back to the public school he came from. I�m sure the speech was written by a speechwriter because not even in your worst moment would you have written a speech like the one you presented at Parliament. In this case, the most dangerous instrument in this whole saga was your mouth. Here�s the speech you should have given.

Mea Culpa

�Citizens of South Africa, I apologise for misleading you about the bolt in the generator. Based on the facts available it looked like sabotage. I now realise that it was human error. Once again I apologise for opening my mouth too soon and just before the voting. I know that you have never heard a minister in the history of South Africa say these words � but here goes, �I was wrong, mea culpa.�

Now there�s a speech I would have admired.

In passing and to sum  up, I think Eskom has got off lightly on this one. Although there seems to be a groundswell of support for action being taken against the company by the Cape business community.

The Capetonians are worrying about not getting their caf� latte�s and warm pastrami sandwiches because of the power cuts. Maybe I�m being too le Carre about this whole thing, but let�s do the math and see if we can come to a conclusion:

Human error + arrogant management + arrogant government + nuclear reactor = CHERNOBYL!

Copyright 2006 by Jacques de Villiers 

This article may be copied or republished with the following credit:

"By Jacques de Villiers, Inspirational Speaker, Johannesburg, South Africa.
 www.jacquesdevilliers.com "